|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Adelbert Ames
Founding
colonel of the 20th Maine, Medal of Honor
winner, the man who taught Joshua Chamberlain how to be a soldier.
|
Matt Letscher from Gods
and Generals
Absolutely
perfect. Ames is
one of my favorite minor characters in the war and Mr. Letscher played
him wonderfully.
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Lew Armistead
|
Gerard Butler
Only
balder.
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Ambrose Burnside
|
Alex Hyde-White in Gods
and Generals
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Ben Butler
a.k.a.
“The Beast”
|
Dennis Franz
It
didn’t take long to come up with this one.
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Joshua Lawrence
Chamberlain
The
hero of Little Round Top, Petersburg, and the Quaker Road, wounded six
times, twice reported killed in action, Medal of Honor winner, and the
exhibitor of the most impressive display of graciousness in the war
after the surrender at Appomattox
|
 
Jeff Daniels in Gettysburg
There
can be only one.
Best
portrayal of any Civil War figure in any movie, ever, of all time.
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Ulysses S. Grant
|
Well…
I’m not sure.
A
tremendously complex person, Grant seems to have had layers upon layers
upon layers. General
Lee supposedly once said that he was afraid Lincoln would keep
replacing Union generals
until he found one who Lee could not figure out. I
don’t think Lee or anyone else has ever really figured out
Grant. He was an absolute one-off, a unique mixed bag of
courage, character, and contradictions, about whom it has been said the
definitive book has not yet been written, unless it be his own
memoirs. He’s a favorite, so this role must be
carefully chosen.
I
had it narrowed down to two:
 
Tommy Lee Jones and
Paul Giamatti
but then I saw Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee and
was struck by the uncanny resemblance between Aidan Quinn and Grant, to
the point where I got confused in the scene with Quinn as Senator Dawes
and the dreadful Fred Thompson (20 years too old) as Grant. I
kept thinking Quinn was playing Grant and did a doubletake when he
would address Thompson as "Mr. President."
He's even got one eye
higher than the other, although it's the wrong eye. Plus he's
a very good actor.
|
|
|
| The
Real Thing... |
should
be played by: |
Julia Grant
a.k.a. "The Boss" --
wife of General Grant. |
Kathy Bates |
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
Ben
Grierson
Cavalry
commander under Grant; his famous raid through Mississippi to Baton
Rouge helped enable Grant to capture Vicksburg
|
John
Sayles |
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Henry Wager Halleck
Lincoln’s
chief of staff. A
puling, ambitious backstabber.
|
Michael McKean
Seeing
him in The X-Files sold me on
him for this role. And
he looks like Halleck.
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Wade Hampton III
Served
ably under Stuart. And whined a lot. About everything.
|
Gabriel Byrne
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Winfield Scott Hancock
|
Not sure, but he has
to be in the movie.
Type Needed:
Big,
beefy hunk. Proud and inspiring leader.
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
A.P. Hill
|
Viggo Mortensen
Probably
too robust for the sickly Hill, but he looks so much like him.
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
D.H. Hill
|
Ciaran Hinds
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
John Bell Hood
Kentuckian
in command of Texans in the Army of Northern Virginia.
Known for
reckless daring and loss of limbs.
|
Nicolas Cage
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Joe Hooker
One
of many who tried to fill the revolving-door position of general of the
Army of the Potomac, he was better than most.
Nicknamed Fightin’
Joe Hooker – or, as Lee called him, “Mr.
F. J. Hooker.”
|
Paul Newman
I
think Hooker himself would be pleased with this choice.
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Thomas J. Jackson
Stonewall.
|
Joaquin Phoenix
or
Daniel Day-Lewis
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Joseph E. Johnston
Retreatin'
Joe Johnston
|
David Straithairn
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Hugh Judson Kilpatrick
|
Sean Penn
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Robert E. Lee
|
or rather, should not
really be played by:
Robert Duvall in Gods
and Generals
A fine actor, a very good
resemblance to Lee, and a real beard to boot!
But…
my vision of Lee is of someone regal and remote. An aloof,
unapproachable man, who at the same time carries a great nobility and
ability to inspire his men, and just as important, a dynamic,
impressive figure on the field of battle.
Mr. Duvall, who
was not really given much to do in Gods and Generals
and thus might be better suited than I think he is, just seems a little
too down-home and folksy to really do this role justice. General Lee should remind
you of a king, not your grandpapa.
My vision of Lee is
more like…
Sean Connery.
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Custis Lee
|
Jonathan Frakes
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Fitzhugh Lee
|
Russell Crowe
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
W.H.F.
“Rooney” Lee
You
just can’t have enough Lees in a movie.
|
Fred Savage
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
A. Lincoln
El
Presidente!
|
Sam Waterston in Gore
Vidal’s Lincoln
GVL was
a darned fine little made-for-TV movie and Mr. Waterston played a
wonderful, crafty, squeaky-voiced Lincoln.
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
James Longstreet
|
Either…
Tom Berenger in Gettysburg
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
John Singleton Mosby
|
Gregory Wise
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
John Pelham
|
Christian Bale
He
just needs to be
blonde.
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
George Pickett
|
Stephen Lang, Gettysburg
Talk
about scenery-chewing! I cannot imagine anyone else playing
this role at all after seeing Gettysburg,
let alone playing it as well as Mr. Lang did. He completely
stole the show in every scene he was in.
Absolutely
delightful! You can almost smell the perfume!
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
John Rawlins
|
John Cusack
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Winfield Scott
|
Jason Robards
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Philip H. Sheridan
Not
a nice man.
|
Johnny Depp
A
very nice man, to all appearances.
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
William T. Sherman
|
Colm Feore
Sherman
is a tough role to cast. A very juicy role, but easy to
miscast and easy to overplay. I had Clint Eastwood
picked for this, until I saw Bury
My Heart at Wounded Knee and instantly changed it to Mr.
Feore. He ought to have had a bigger role in that movie than
just one scene!
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
C.F. Smith
|
Sam Elliott
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Edwin Stanton
|
Phillip Seymour
Hoffman
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
J.E.B. Stuart
|
Kenneth Branagh
A
fine actor who would do justice to what should be a nuanced, layered
role.
|
|
While on the subject
of Stuart, the obvious would also be a good choice:
Joseph Fuqua in Gods
and Generals
I
want to point out that Mr. Fuqua did a damn fine job in what should
have been written as more than just a bit part. I do wish the
role had been expanded as much as it was in the novel, because I think
he could have done more with it than he was given a chance to.
He’s
cute; he looks quite a bit like Stuart…
|
|
Has
the right build…
|
Tips
the hat…
|
|
Gets
the chicks…
|
Can
put on the twinkle…
|
|
And
cuts a charmingly nonchalant picture on horseback, for someone who is
probably not a rider. In my movie,
of course, there would be lots of horseback action scenes, with lots of
galloping, spinning, and jumping…
Mr.
Fuqua was one of many victims of a horribly bad beard in Gettysburg.
In fact I refused to believe this was the same fellow in Gods
and Generals until I saw the credits.
Much better make-up in the prequel. The only thing I would
have wanted him to do differently, acting-wise, is kick it up a
notch. I envision Stuart as slightly manic and hyper and this
was a bit low-key. Overall, I was pleased. If you
can’t tell, Stuart’s a favorite, so this role would
be a major one in The
Granddaddy of All Civil War Movies.
Oh, and Mr.
Fuqua bows
gracefully, too.
Now, where were
we…
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Strong Vincent
|
Colin Firth
|
|
|
|
The
Real Thing...
|
should
be played by:
|
|
Heros von Borcke
|
Brendan Fraser
|
